Women's Sexual Rights as Human Rights

Mary Ann King (in association with Queer Sisters)

For centuries, different women from different cultural, historical and religious backgrounds have faced different situations. However, there is one thing quite similar, that is, the deprivation of their sexual rights. Throughout history, the rights to a woman's sex and body were assigned to one man and the whole society instead of herself. Even after more than a century of the women's liberation movement, sex is still regarded as a taboo in many ways. Not only does society take it for granted that women do not have rights to themselves sexually, women at large are not conscious of these inborn rights either.

As a matter of fact, societies have tried their best to suppress any room for open and positive discussion about sex. Social institutions among which we grow up and are living in, like families, schools, religious groups, social service agencies and even private societies, will not facilitate us to discuss sex in an open manner. Instead, everybody serves as a moral gatekeeper to make sure that no one is going too far.

This kind of monitoring system and suppression treats women more severely. Let me ask all of you a question: Who among us has talked about sex freely and openly while growing up or even now without having a "not so good" feeling? Many of us even have to hide our sanitary napkins like a thief when we go to the toilet during our periods! 
Because there is not enough space to talk about sex positively and freely, it is even harder for women to gain back their deprived rights. 
Misunderstandings, discrimination and pain have been happening to women all the time since their sexual power was taken away, and now we are facing an even more serious problem as AIDS cases are rising rapidly among women: sexual rights become a matter of life and death! Women cannot stay silent!

Because of time constraints, I will only focus on two aspects of sexual rights: the right to one's body and the right to one's own sexuality. 

The Right to One's Own Body

The right to one's own body means we have the right to keep our bodies unique. These rights are inborn and are not given, but they are always severely violated. For example, in some Islamic countries, girls are mutilated before puberty or even soon after they are born. The clitoris is removed, and the vagina is sown up. This not only deprives women of their sexual feelings but seriously injures women's bodies and dignity. 

These painful acts unfortunately do not just happen in Islamic countries but in every corner of the world. In talking about sexual rights, we think it is vital for women to reclaim their rights to safer sex and to protect themselves in sexual matters. During numerous AIDS workshops, I constantly have heard the same thing: (Asian/Chinese) women are more passive, and they are ashamed to ask their husbands or sexual partners to wear condoms. As a matter of fact, asking men to wear condoms is a hard-to-win power struggle for women, regardless if they are wives or sex workers. In the example above, for instance, some men may think penetrating women with their vaginas sown up will give them more pleasure. Most men who refuse to wear condoms may think that this will reduce their pleasure and cause them an inconvenience. How can women's lives be subjected to men's pleasure and convenience? The subjectivity of women's desire and bodies is seriously ignored. In the time when AIDS cases are rising rapidly among housewives, the imbalance of power between men and women should not be viewed as just a "family matter."
Women's safety in sexual matters should be respected!

The violence that women face every day in bed does not stop here. Intramarriage rape is also a great threat to women's sexual rights. Unlike rape outside of marriage in which women have little place to go, women facing intramarriage rape have nowhere to go. They do not, and may not, have any legal protection, and they are not allowed to speak out in order to maintain the "wholeness" of the family or the marriage. Society acts as a criminal assistant in the whole affair. As a matter of fact, overall speaking, on the issue of violence against women, aside from exaggerations of the media on the event, regardless of the victim's feelings, society as a whole always keeps silent. We believe that women should try their best to break the silence and refuse to assist this kind of crime again.

The Right to One's Own Sexuality

Many of women's choices on sexual matters are being deprived to them through institutional monitoring and brainwashing systems. For example, talking about sexual activities, generally speaking, women can only enjoy sex within the context of one-to-one relationships (preferably with men) and a long-term relationship (preferably marriage). Nearly all other kinds of sex are depreciated, stigmatized and condemned. For instance, a woman who chooses to make a long-term relationship with another woman or chooses to have casual sex with different sexual partners is denounced.

Concerning sexual orientation, societies also admit only one kind of orientation, i.e., and heterosexuality. If a person does not choose a sexual partner of the opposite sex (in terms of a monogamous long-term marriage, of course), many of their social benefits, and even basic human rights, will be lost, like housing benefits, the right to legally marry each other, inheritance rights or even the right to make emergency medical decisions for each other. However, on the benefit of women, I am tempted to ask is it really a benefit to women while they can have just one choice concerning sexuality?

The rights of sexuality are always denounced on the issue of sexual practices. Just like believing a woman should be owned by one man but not herself, society gives a bad name to forms of sexual practices other than the heterosexist one. "Alternative" sexual practices, like sexless love, masturbation, being asexual or single by choice or crossdressing and choosing to be in a non-one-to-one context, receive negative perceptions, and the labeling is even worse when the person who chooses these practice is a woman.

Conclusion

For years, thousands of brave women have been fighting for their own rights under patriarchal constraints and the concept of compulsory heterosexuality; but from my point of view, there are no rights like sexual rights, which really benefit women themselves. Sexual rights are about the possibilities and choices women can have and the rights to choose on sexual matters. This is a new concept and should involve more positive and open discussions. There should be no reason for women to fight for and protect the patriarchal morality that has been repressing us for so long.